RealityIsCruel.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
today in this post, I want to write a little story. .
Long long time ago, there was a girl named Ling and there was a guy named Ming. One fine day Ming went into a room in audition with a room title `Horniie'. there was this other girl named Lynn who was the member of the top fam named -MeToYou- . Ming saw the fam name and was tempted to join this fam and so he asked Lynn if the fam was recruiting any new members to the fam. Lynn told Ming that the fam is still recruiting and so Ming decided to take on the fam test in order to join the fam. soon after a fam recruitment tester from -MeToYou- named -APRIL came to give Ming the fam recruitment test. 3 tries, Ming failed all of them, but thanks to kind
-APRIL, Ming became a member of the -MeToYou- fam.
As that point of time the fight for the top fam ranking between different fams was very competitive, -MeToYou- was on the verge of being overtake by other fams. in order to prevent -MeToYou- from dropping to rank 2, its fam master CherishME who is Ling bought fam channels almost everyday and getting her members to stay in the fam channel and earn fam points so as to maintain the top 1 ranking. her efforts were not wasted, -MeToYou- remained as the top fam for a year.
Inside the fam there were different types of people, backstabbers, hypocrites and many more. conflicts in a fam was unavoidable, at times these conflicts made Ling very emotional, sometimes she was on the verge of disbanding the fam. luckily there were also other members who were the close ones to Ling who supported her and adviced her to not dismiss the fam and carry on with it.
Ming joined the fam as a new member and at that point of time he was quite active and so he was mostly at fam's channel opening a fam room helping to earn fam points. Ming got to know Ling when he started to chat around in the fam's chat and things went smoothly and they soon became friends. Their friendship grew as the days past and it became good friends when Ling started share her troubles and problems with Ming and Ming gave her all the neccessary advices and made her moved on.
Please continue with the story when one day you see this very post (:
YanLing i wanna tell you,
its not that im heartless enough to end this friendship,
its not because that i have changed and become another person,
i dare to tell you that i have not changed at all,
but now will you believe what i said?
i didnt know that you have fear in yourself after talking to me until you told me today,
i cant deny that im sad and heartbroken,
but i know that you said out this truth to help me,
you chose to run away,
i chose to leave,
maybe one day,
one of us or both of us regret the decision we made today,
but at least we can tell ourselves,
we once shared memories together being good or bad ones,
memories that i wont forget for life.
Take good care of yourself ya? Ivan <3
Monday, May 10, 2010
its been a long time since i last blogged.
but i guess, no one is viewing my blog anyway so its ok.
school has started for a month or so, everything seems to be going fine for me or should i say its just in my point of view.
when i typing out this very post, deep down inside me im not feeling happy at all. i dont know what my mind is brainstorming about, all the stuffs inside it is driving me to mood swings, in the end i ended up with a stubborn attitude. just about a week ago i quarreled with my dad over money stuffs, in the end i decided to survive independently and so i started not taking any allowance from him anymore. for the first two days after our fight i did not have any meals cause i did not have any sum of money. during the 3rd day and so, i used the pocket money that i had previously saved up to cover up for my meals for the following days. for that week my meals for the weekend was 10 hotdogs and raw eggs. one meal each day was all i had and weekends working time made me so tempted to spend money on food but luckily i was determined enough to keep my hands off the money i had at that point of time. from that very first day till now, i didnt had dinner at home. when i reached home i will only go into my room, locked myself inside, sleep and sleep to make myself not wanting to eat anymore for the day. i have not talked to any of my family members since that day and neither did they. i think somday, i might break away from them. now that i am learning to live independently, every cent i spend needs to be think properly. i guess my hotdogs and raw eggs meals will carry on until the day i have enough money for all my expenses. relationship between me and my dad became worse on sunday when i was trying to change my faulty hp. as my hp plan was under my dad's sponsorship, i needed to ask my dad down to help me make some form of confirmation that i am buying a new hp. at that point of time i know the chance of me getting a new hp is gone, but still i tried my luck and i called. true enough the chance was gone, in the end i ended up getting a scolding from him. after that conversation i was very moody and so i gave up the idea of changing my hp. from that moment onwards, i realised that even if i talk to him nicely, all i get back will be scoldings and things that i dont like to hear. finally i decided to become a mute so as to not invite any troubles or conflicts anymore.
Mothers Day just went by, i wanted to wish my mum a happy mother's day but in the end i didnt. maybe now that things has become like that, i am unable to pluck up that courage to say such things out. i feel useless but at the same time i am very determined to remain mute for the time being.
so in my blog here, i wish my mum a Happy Mother's Day
Thanks alot mum, sorry that i cant say this 3 words infront of you. Ming
